Monday, Week 1 - Seek and You Will Find

"Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you" (Luke 11:9).

    The church is wise in offering us the season of Lent because it can be the very time we need to find what is missing in our lives; it can be the season to deliberately seek what has been tossed away or misplaced or ignored, so that our lives can once gain reflect the gospel which Jesus encouraged us to live. Lent can be a searching out and a restoration time and the means for renewed direction and perspective.
    Lent is the season to ask: What do I cherish in my life? What is it that I hide from? Am I aware of what I am missing or have misplaced interiorly? Have I given myself to the searching and finding of these treasures? What do I need to form my life more on the pattern of the Lord's death and resurrection? Who is it that I seek? Who is it that I hide from? How can I recover what I hold dear?

   That's an awful lot of questions for me to ask myself all at one time. I suppose, though, the point is that I have the whole season of Lent, and for the rest of my life, to ponder these questions. My efforts in pushing myself to reflect every night during Lent are not meant to serve as a single project with a beginning and an end. Rather, I hope to encourage myself to develop the habit of reflection. It is so easy to hide from the questions in life that are most challenging, and most of the time, these are precisely the questions that are most valuable.
    I am encouraged by the title of tonight's reflection: "Seek and You Will Find". This message is a promise for eventual direction, a promise which satisfies my selfish desire to know I am in the right place. However (and forgive me for sounding like a broken record), I constantly have to remind myself to be patient. As my youth minister growing up always said: "God never leaves a prayer unanswered, but doesn't always answer the way you would expect, or when you expect it."
    I spoke with my mom tonight on the phone (hi mom!) - she told me, after reading my first few Lenten blogs, that she was worried I might be unhappy, particularly with work. I assured her that I am not, in any way! I'm extremely grateful to have the job that I do, and while it doesn't come without some level of stress, I appreciate the dynamic experience of learning how to thrive in a new environment.
    The word I would use to describe my state of being at this point in my life, rather, is restless. Restless in the best way. I often catch myself in the habit of laziness -- sleeping in, an unhealthy lifestyle, and general fatigue define my days. But lately, and with much credit to the season of Lent, I'm finding myself more stimulated. I want to grab hold of this feeling and never let it go!